Woman: I thought you were bringing a condom.
Man: This is the responsibility of both of us. You need to bring your condoms as much as I need to bring mine.
The Pleasure Seeker
Man: Look I ain’t putting that thing on my dick baby. I can’t feel nothing with that thing on. Nope, just ain’t going to do it.
Woman: Being protected turns ME on! We can try an ultra-sensitive or ultra-thin type of condom to keep sensation high. Beside if you don’t use one, you won’t feel a thing because I won’t have sex.
Man: I will just pull out before I cum.
Woman: It’s hard to time this perfectly, especially if we’re both excited. The pre-cum can get me pregnant or transmit STIs.
Man: Birth control is your responsibility, not mine.
Woman: Sex involves the two of us, from the protection to the pleasure. So man up and get one.
Woman: We don’t need a condom, I’m on birth control.
Man: Babies are not the only thing we need to worry about.
Man: Yo listen. We did it before without one. Come on baby!
Woman: I know we have, and it’s a risk we took. It’s never too late to start being safe.
Man: I love you, I thought you loved me too.
Woman: I do love you. And If you love me, you’ll love me feeling safe and protected. If you love me, you won’t make me prove it by doing something I don’t want to.
Woman: You know me, you know that I am not sleeping around.
Man: I hate them as much as you do. Let’s get tested and I’ll throw the box away.
Man: But you are already using birth control. We don’t need a condom.
Woman: I use birth control as a way to prevent pregnancy. But condoms protect from STIs. Until we both get tested we don’t really know if we have an STI. So we need double protection.
Man: Baby listen. Just this once. I promise nothing is going to happen. The odds are like a billion to one. Just give me a hug.
Woman: I could get pregnant any time I have sex. So if you don’t want to use a condom now, there won’t be a next time.
Man: I’m too big to fit in a condom.
Woman: First, the condom is supposed to be tight. Also there are larger sizes for every man. The standard size fits most men.
The Guilt Tripper
Man: Yo it’s like what? You don’t trust me. I trust you. Why don’t you trust me? That ain’t cool. Come on now. You my girl right?
Woman: Wearing a condom isn’t about trust, it’s about our health. Some STIs have no symptoms and may be spread without you even knowing you have it.
Woman: Why are you pulling a condom? Are you cheating on me?
Man: I am not cheating on you and I know you are not cheating on me, but we have not gotten tested in a while and besides I can’t have a baby right now.
Man: Yo… for real for real… I ain’t wearing no glove… so.
Woman: Okay. For real for real there’s no way you can get me to have unprotected sex. No glove no love.
Man: But I don’t have one on me. I have to go all the way to the store to get it.
Woman: We could still do something else instead. I bet you the next time you won’t forget to get one though.
The Show Stopper
Man: Stopping to put on a condom ruins the moment.
Woman: Not if I do it. I know a special way to put it on that you will love.